Blog 13

It’s just so weird how you can live your life for years thinking it’s a normal life, but it takes something to trigger you to shake you into realization that
●you will never be good enough for some people.
●Even though you are their go to person, everything you do is wrong. Just weird.
●It’s always your fault never theirs.
●And the list can go on. (please share your realization in the comments below)

I was worn-out. Tired of the arguments and fights and picking up the pieces just to shattered all over again. It felt like a bad movie that is put on repeat. I just want it to stop but i don’t know how to make it stop. I don’t know how to start over. I just wanted closure at that point . I know that the rest will sort itself out.

At that point I felt I surved a 25 year life sentence. I felt lost, hopeless, lonely, afraid amongst many other mixed emotions.

We know by now that you can’t change the past but you can change the future. You will have to change your game plan that obviously is not working for you before. I can’t tell you what you need to do.

I can tell you how I made changes in my life in order to bring in more happiness for myself regardless of people trying to pull me apart.

It started with selflove by working with Shana (life coach) to help me discover whats in my toolbox to help develop into my true self
●Communication – for those who knows me well. I always say “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”. People don’t realize that to every action their is a reaction. So being the aries that I am. I previously use to react without the thought process. My response didn’t always sit well with other people. Sometimes when I was bored of the same repetitive conversation I would hear but not listen. Cut myself off. Now I’m in the process of dealing with the same situation better. Allow them to speak first. Process everything said then react by repeating what was said to valid that we on the same page. Take responsibility for anything I did wrong. Ask forgiveness. Ask questions if I’m unsure. Aim is to seek first to understand and then to be understood.
●Things that triggers me is when people provoke, make false accusations and speaks rudely towards as if its ok. This has become a daily battle. As this type of toxic behavior has become the norm at work and at home. The way to get through it is not take it personally. (easier daid than done, I know) Don’t get emotional. Remember some people trigger you for a reaction. Don’t give them that power. Stay silent. Make mental notes and when its your turn then have your say. Remember focus on the problem don’t personally attack.
●Honesty to myself to identify my wants, desires, goals and dream. Usually we are influenced by our past relationships, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and environment. Its very important to identify what you want for the future so that you are more excited to work towards it and achieve it.
●Build my self-confidence. As a typical female, I picture myself to be half my size and more toned. I have started to focus on my weight and the way forward into 2021.

Have a wonderful week ahead filled with happiness, peace of mind, tranquility and faith.

Lotsa love and blessing.

Zainab Achmat