Is there life after divorce?

Blog 12

I’ve been through divorce. Hell I’ve been through two. I’m not planning to go through it a third time. So my future husband (who ever he might be), will be on my level of respect, trust, understanding and be able to make choices when it comes to problem solving.

I’m not giving up on having a wonderful husband just because I had two failed attempts. You should not either. You deserve everything your heart desires. It don’t matter if people judge us. They have the right to their own opinion.

Sometimes people come into your life to teach you and mould you into a stronger person for your future partner and soulmate.

Don’t beat yourself up and blame yourself as a relationship takes two people to work at it. Sometimes life is just so busy couples grow apart. They end up not knowing each other at all especially towards the end they leading complete separate lives. I remember the feeling of loneliness more in my marriage than when I was single.

When I got divorced I felt lost, afraid of the unknown future. I felt hurt and betrayed yet I felt relieved and free. It was a roller-coaster of mixed emotions. I had to find the courage to stand tall.

Courage is when you move through life failure after failure and you still have the determination to push through because you believe in yourself.

We can’t control all the situations in our life but we can control the choices we make towards the betterment of the current situations and also to better our future life goals. We need to stop talking about the past. Even stop talking in the past tense. We need to talk about the now, the present.

We are living in a negative world. As an empath I have to block myself off from negativity. I stopped watching television a long time ago due to all the negative news and sad stories that media shares. When last have you watched the news and heard something wonderful being mentioned.

Covid-19 also playing a heavy weight on peoples decisions to go out. Staying cooped up at home will cloud your mind and hold you in the negative space which leads to depression and anxiety. All of these negativity sadly impacts people’s moods which now affects couples relationships.

I’m all for trying till the bitter end before you give up on each other. If you had to go through mental or physical abuse or both as I did, my advise is to get help immediately as this affects you psychologically in the end. The pain stays longer with you. The sooner you get to dig deeper, you will understand why you even chose a partner like this to begin with.

Speaking to Shana Hendricks my life coach has helped me to discover so much and how the past, my youth and death of my father at a young age has affected my choices in life. Currently I am more aware of my short comings of the partners I chose to be with. I now am able to make better choices. People are afraid of moving on because they are afraid of repeating the same mistakes and being judged but if you are more aware of making better choices for the future then you have no reason to fear.

Motivation
Try to keep busy, it helps clear the mind and make you feel more productive. Focus of your goals for the future new you. Baby steps start focusing on your needs and everything start falling into place. Work on your self confidence. Make time for yourself for the things that makes you feel happy. Start going for counseling, it helps you to reset and focus on the way forward.

Don’t rush into another relationship before you know your self worth. Never settle for less. It’s very easy to confuse lust for love. Be very careful as you are vulnerable and you can end up being used and end up hurt all over again.

Message for the guys.

Message for the ladies

Have a wonderful week ahead filled with happiness, peace of mind, tranquility and faith.

Lotsa love and blessing.

Zainab Achmat

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Comments - 1

Oemayma Jattiem

Oemayma Jattiem

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your words are insightful and gives pause for thought

Nov 27, 2020 3:20 pm Reply

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