How do I choose the right partner?

I know I have been quiet for a while but I have been taking the time to heal from hurt by peoples words and actions.

This pandemic has opened up my eyes to many things. The situation we find ourselves in, has put people in survival mode and they only looking out for themselves.

I realize that I have to take responsibility of my life. Too often I trust people and I expect them to be the caring people they pretend to be until such time when their true colors are exposed.

I think because I am giving, it’s obvious that they would naturally give back. I don’t realize that they don’t have to give back. Some people might have ulterior motives for being kind to you and once they get what they want they just disappear. They cut you off and feel nothing as if you did not exist to begin with. We can’t change people, but we can choose to make better decisions going forward.

I gave them the right to hurt me because I allowed them to. This does not just apply to me, but others too. I have seen my friend’s heart been broken, time after time by the same person and still they go back expecting them to change trusting and believing in the lies they are told.

Nobody is allowed to break your heart twice!

So if you have been through enough crap, naturally you put your guards up. You avoid anyone that tries to show interest. You be pushing aware great opportunities. Instead of pushing away everybody, try to be selective.

Avoid people that gossip to you about others, you better believe that they are gossiping to others about you. The saddest part is that you trust them with all your personal information. Why are you opening your vulnerable self to such people?

You don’t need to have many friends you only need a hand full of genuine one’s. Surround yourself with positive, happy, motivating and supportive people.

We need to learn that we should only share personal matters to people who are genuine. You can only trust people who make an effort for you but don’t expect anything in return. Share with people who know your worth. Help people who helps you achieve your goals. I am talking about the hand full of people you can call friends. The friends that will get out of bed as 2am to come to your rescue.

Always remember to love yourself first and know your worth before inviting someone else into your life. Always work on building a better stronger you so that you can add value to someone else life.

7 Warning signs of an abusive partner in a relationship

  • A person that can’t take accountability for mistakes. (this means they can’t apologies and rectify things)
  • A person that speaks badly about their ex (shows they still hung up on ex. They have not healed and moved on, it could also mean that they always shifting the blame)
  • Avoid a person who consistently create “white lies” to get out of situations. (This will create a lack of trust in time to come.)
  • Pay attention to the type of people they choose to be around (If you can’t get along with those people because they have different morals or values this will create a problem in the future)
  • Take note how they treat other people. ( especially their parents or caregivers) At some point they can treat you the same.
  • Be aware of people who can’t be alone. They hop from relationship to another. They could be with you not because they love you but because they need you to fill their void.
  • When they repeatedly show signs of aggression. (Especially when they can’t control their anger)


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