Dear Raging Adolescent

Don’t wish for less problems, rather wish for more skills. I want  you to see problems as an opportunity to grow. If you choose to make the effort to do well at high school or college by submitting assignments on time etc., chances are that you will get good grades. Good grades mean you get a better job. A better job in turn means you will live a more meaningful life. This means you have options to better your life by setting your goals, whether it be moving out of an unstable home or getting a car which really means freedom to some. The options to achieve your goals are endless.

Let’s say you are not at school. Have you considered teaching yourself a skill or creating a job in an environment that makes you feel happy? If you don’t have resources, go to an internet café or the library and draw up a CV and start applying for jobs online. If you need a reference do voluntary work and you are guaranteed to get a brilliant reference to boost your CV.

At this age, I advise you to focus on your needs because years down the line you will see how you start losing your friends. Before you know it you are left alone and you end up feeling trapped and alone.  You will end up feeling intense emotions that you can’t express.

Kids sometimes grow up in negative environments. This can make or break them later in life. As a parent I want all kids to know that parenting is not a breeze. We don’t get a manual with the do’s and don’ts of parenting. We take the knowledge of our beliefs enforced upon us when we were kids as well as our lessons in life and then we try and tweak it to live better and more meaningful lives as parents.

So what we do is not necessarily who we are, but it’s who we become. The pressure of parenting is life’s biggest lesson for some later in life when the parent does not understand why the kids are acting up. Yes, we can all play the “blame game”, but where does it get us? Does it help resolve the disagreements?

Some parents grow up and still struggle to discover who they are and what their purpose in life is. They are still busy working on getting over beliefs that were enforced on them by their parents. Some parents grew up with animosity or negativity and so this attitude is normal for them. When you are emotional they expect you to toughen up because they don’t know how to deal with it. They don’t know how to break the cycle. You can learn from this and become better parents and become more supportive of your kids one day.

Every challenge in life that you are faced with molds you to become a better person. Take the lesson out of it and move on. Be like a bird and rise from it. Eagles fly high by themselves they don’t hang out with a flock of birds like pigeons do. You don’t need any friends, you need a few genuine friends that will have your back and add value to your life.

As a parent we have our own stress, usually it’s things we don’t speak about. At times when we are too busy multi-tasking, focusing on paying the bills and resolving our own marital relationship issues we tend to lose focus of you. We forget you need us too. We think you are big enough and so as life gets busy we end up living past each other. Some parents even lose their kids to suicide or they simply just run away.

Social media kept us apart. We lost the time to connect as human beings. We stopped playing board games and enjoying activities outdoors.

I wish I knew back then what I know now.

Many studies shows

·         1 in 5 youth suffers from depression before they leave high school.

·         1 in 6 youth considered suicide in the past year.

·         It affects males more than females.

Adolescents need the following to live a meaningful life.

·         Affection (connection)

·         Faith (spiritual / Higher power)

·         Health (sports activities/ exercise)

·         Meaningful connections

·         Meaningful existence

·         Motivation

·         Guidance

·         Empathy

·         Gratitude

·         Find out their purpose in life.  (Some adults still don’t know)

Going forward

·         If you need anything, please just come over and talk.

·         If I’m not focused just stop me and tell me you need me to pay attention.

·         Let’s make a concerted effort to chat before going to bed daily.

·         Remember I always love you.

Lotsa love. XOXO

Positively G


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